Johnny Tan

The Power of Unconditional Love—the Key to Potent Leadership in the 21st Century

Johnny Tan — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 23:18:11 +0000

In a recent exclusive interview, Yahoo! News and The Huffington Post reported that Warren Buffett, known as the Oracle of Omaha and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway learned the lesson of his life. Apparently, while attending the Allen & Company conference, an annual gathering of technology and media leaders in Sun Valley, Idaho, Mr. Buffett credited his father for having taught him the most important lesson he ever learned—the lesson of unconditional love.

According to Buffett, “… there is no power on Earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean you’re 90 percent of the way home. There may be days when you don’t feel like it, it’s not uncritical love, that’s a different animal, but to know you can always come back, that is huge in life. That takes you a long, long way. And I would say that every parent out there that [who] can extend that to their child at an early age, it’s going to make for a better human being.”

As an expert on the subject, I am impressed with his acknowledgment. Although the credit to the source of this awesome teaching is different, for this CEO it was his father, and for me, my 9 moms. Thus, the validation of the power of unconditional love is unequivocal.

The wisdom of this knowledge opens an additional window of opportunities for creative communication, unparalleled understanding and respect that would otherwise not exist because of the limits induced by our own conscious and subconscious self-centeredness. Whether fatherly or motherly love, when it is given without regard to conditions to your loved ones at any age, and in any setting, in our personal or professional life, it will serve as a catalyst to catapult an individual to a higher level of self-actualization.

It is true as Warren Buffett said, there may be days we don’t feel like it, but to know you can always rely on this level of devotion is a huge vessel in life. With the thorough understanding of the power of you can create and foster an environment that promotes harmonious relationships in both your home and business life.

In your home, you can create a perfect setting that offers a fresh perspective for embracing natural nurturing instincts. This approach empowers loved ones from within and allows them to achieve individual excellence. From identifying their personal strengths and weaknesses to formulating a plan of action, helping them accomplish their personal dreams, goals, and desires becomes a heartfelt passion.

When you unleash the power of this phenomenon into your business, you demonstrate potent leadership with a unique approach. You are now teaching, coaching, and counseling individuals and team members to achieve the synergy of corporate oneness. This will enhance personal and professional development, and create a happy working environment, resulting in better interpersonal relationships, increased productivity, and improved profits.

As my Italian foster mom, Carol, would say, as indicated in my book, From My Mama’s Kitchen, “Wisdom comes when we combine knowledge, understanding and compassion. We do not need more logic in our life. We need to use our rationality to work collaboratively with our intuition instead of using it to overrule what we instinctively know.”

The sage of Omaha, successfully used the power of his dad’s technique for his personal and professional life. Although my own dad had passed on at a critical time in my life, I did not lose the opportunity to learn this valuable lesson thanks to my 9 moms. The power of unconditional love transcends genders and cultures. It reminds us that we are all part of the bigger world. Always remember that we all have the same potential. It’s just a matter of what strengths we are willing to utilize. We can choose to use it at any time for the greater good of our family or to enrich our business with spicy leadership.

So when do we use this power? To answer this question, I would like to share with you this recipe for living from my German mom, Dianne, as indicated in my book, From My Mama’s Kitchen, “Every once in a while a situation may occur that requires us to radiate our energy of positive goodwill, compassion, and love for others. Until we try to put ourselves beyond our comfort zone, we will not realize we have what it takes to make a difference in that person’s life and in ours.”

Throughout our life’s journey, we will continue to gain and encounter new experiences. Some experiences, good or bad, will stay with us for the rest of our life. It is how we manage them that will ultimately determine our idea of success or failure. Applying the power of unconditional love to either situation will always lead us to living a memorable and satisfied personal and professional life.

Johnny Tan
Leadership speaker
Talk show host: FMMKTalkRadio
Award-winning author: From My Mama’s Kitchen-”food for the soul, recipes for living”
(Mom’s Choice Awards® Gold Recipient – Inspirational/Motivational)

From My Mama’s Kitchen-”food for the soul, recipes for living” is Mom’s Choice Awards® Gold Recipient!

Johnny Tan — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 20:01:12 +0000

I am excited to share with everyone this wonderful news – my book, From My Mama’s Kitchen-“food for the soul, recipes for living” is a Mom’s Choice Awards® Gold Recipient in the category of Inspirational / Motivational.

The Mom’s Choice Awards® (MCA) is an awards program that recognizes authors, inventors, companies, parents and others for their efforts in creating quality family-friendly media, products and services.

Parents, educators, librarians and retailers rely on MCA evaluations when selecting quality materials for children and families. The Mom’s Choice Awards® seal helps families and educators navigate the vast array of products and services and make informed decisions.

An esteemed panel of judges includes education, media and other experts as well as parents, children, librarians, performing artists, producers, medical and business professionals, authors, scientists and others. A sampling of our panel members includes: Dr. Twila C. Liggett, ten-time Emmy-winner, professor and founder of PBS’s Reading Rainbow; Julie Aigner-Clark, Creator of Baby Einstein and The Safe Side Project; Jodee Blanco, New York Times best-selling author, Priscilla Dunstan, creator of the Dunstan Baby Language; Patricia Rossi, host of NBC’s Manners Minute; Dr. Letitia S. Wright, D.C., host of the Wright PlaceTM TV Show; and Catherine Witcher, M.Ed., special needs expert and founder of Precision Education, Inc.

MCA judges are bound by a strict code of ethics which ensures expert and objective analysis free from any manufacturer association. The evaluation process uses a propriety methodology in which entries are scored on a number of elements including production quality, design, educational value, entertainment value, originality, appeal and cost.

To be considered for an award, each entrant submits five identical samples of a product. Entries are matched to judges in the MCA database. Judges perform a thorough analysis and submit a detailed assessment. Results are compiled and submitted to the MCA Executive Committee for final approval. The end result is a list of the best in family-friendly media, products and services that parents and educators can feel confident in using.

For more information on the awards program and the honorees, please visit MomsChoiceAwards.com. For more information on From My Mama’s Kitchen-“food for the soul, recipes for living” please visit FromMyMamasKitchen.com.

To read more recipes for living – please click here to purchase From My Mama’s Kitchen-“food for the soul, recipes for living” book, and help us make a positive difference in our preferred charities.

Johnny Tan created From My Mama’s Kitchen™ concept to honor his 9 incredible moms who changed his life, and to honor moms everywhere by bringing “motherly love” to the global center stage by recognizing the significant roles mothers play in making a positive difference in our daily lives.
Our weekly From My Mama’s Kitchen Talk Radio Show (FMMK Talk Radio) on Blog Talk Radio also serves as a resource center for mothers everywhere by bringing inspirational, spiritual and motivational stories from our special guests of ordinary moms doing extraordinary things. All shows are archived. Please click here to listen at your leisure.
Thank you for helping us spread this wonderful unconditional gift “Motherly Love” to everyone you know!

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Celebrating Motherly Love this Mother’s Day

Johnny Tan — Sat, 08 May 2010 18:23:41 +0000

As children we appreciate being reminded days ahead if not weeks before that tomorrow is Mother’s Day. Many of us look forward to this day with great anticipation as it gives us the opportunity to express our love and our gratitude to our moms – with a special gift from the heart. However, for some of us, this reminder may not be as thrilling because it reminded us of the bruises and scars we had experienced as a child years ago.

Regardless of which group you fall in, you may not realize this, we all have several moms in our life. The first mom is obviously our birth mom, and the others are women who have already contributed or will soon be richly contributing to our well being as our mentors and counselors. They are the ones that are always available and are always happy to help us with the things we needed the most, and with the one thing we don’t always know yet we need.

In my weekly radio program (From My Mama’s Kitchen Talk Radio) this past Tuesday morning, I kicked off our month long Mother’s Day Celebration theme. Although I say it is a month long, in actuality it is going to be three months long. Yes, that is correct – three months long!

The reason being, when I did a query last month looking for some interesting mother’s day stories I did not realize I was going to get so many heartfelt, soul moving stories to choose from. After much internal debate I decided to pick the thirteen very best heart warming stories that simply had to be told.

I divided these wonderful tales into three categories to discuss over the next three months. The themes are: for May – Motherly Love from a Mom’s perspective; for June – The Experience of Motherly Love from a Child’s perspective; and for July – Mother and Child sharing their Motherly Love experiences.

From stories about “Operation Babylift” – the largest humanitarian initiative our United States government ever undertook in foreign adoptions, to delivering Hope as a surrogate mom, a son’s tribute to his single mom who raised him by herself, a daughter’s Emmy award winning songs expressing her mother’s love, and moms who finally came to terms and realized that “hey I am now a mom, and I need to be more…” will all be covered in the next three months.

Reflecting on these great stories, I realize that none would have taken place if not for “Motherly Love” in our varied lives. As an adopted child from birth, having had the opportunity to be mothered by eight other incredible women over the years, I have to confess that perhaps I am spoiled by the love and attention I have received from my nine moms. They all had a part in moulding my soul and guiding my heart.

Earlier this year, just days after celebrating her 92nd birthday, my Progressive and Spiritual mom, Elsa Mae Stevens, peacefully passed on. Although I was not present during her final hours, I was glad we were able to share some happy memories together a week earlier on her last birthday.

Elsa Mae, who I have known for 23 years, has never forgotten to make that one call every year. She is the only mom who calls me right after midnight on my birthday to wish me “a happy birthday.”

In her many words of wisdom she imparted to me, one will always be part of my very being.

According to her, “In a real-life situation, happiness is always felt by the heart rather than thought of by the mind. Although we can choose to be happy, we still need to feel happy. When we approach everything in life with a heartfelt passion, we are putting the human factor into the equation. By just doing this, the energy of humanness will take over and create a synergy of respect, love, and understanding.”

Elsa Mae taught me to live life by balancing the right amount of heart and mind in everything I do. She said “Although bruises and scars may remind us where we have been, they certainly do not dictate our future.”

She continued by saying “it is always pleasing when we do something good for ourselves, however that good deed dies with us. On the other hand, when we do something good for someone else, it not only feels good to ourselves, it lives on as a legacy in the memory of those who’s hearts we touched.”

On this mother’s day – Elsa Mae Stevens, your legacy lives on!

I love you and may God’s eternal light shine ever so bright upon you in heaven.

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Something to think about this Valentine’s Day!

Johnny Tan — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 14:09:55 +0000

With Valentine’s Day coming up this weekend, I reminded of an article my Italian foster mom Carol, shared with me a few years back. I really don’t know who wrote it but the meaning reaches deep into the very essence of what it is really all about to make the right choice in our personal lives.

I would like to share this wonderful article, titled “Is it a Choice or a Chance?” with you and hope that you will get out of it as much as I did when I first read it several years ago.

Is it a Choice or a Chance? – author unknown

When you meet the right person to love, you are at the right place at the right time.
That is a chance.

When you meet someone you are attracted to, that is not a choice. That is a chance.

Being caught up in the moment (and there are many couples who get together like this) is not a choice. That is also a chance.

The difference is what happens afterward. When will you take that infatuation, that crushes, that mind-blowing attraction, to the next level?

This is when sanity kicks in; you sit down and contemplate on whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.

If you decide to love a person, even with his/her faults, that is not a chance. That is a choice.

When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that is a choice.

Although you know there are many people out there who are more attractive,  smarter, and richer than your mate is, and yet you decide to love your mate just the same, that is a choice.

Infatuations, crushes, and attractions come to us by chance. However, true love that lasts is truly a choice, a choice that we make.

Regarding soul mates, there is a beautiful movie quote, which I believe is so true: “Fate brings you together, but it’s still up to you to make it happen.”

I believe soul mates do exist, that there is truly someone created for everyone. However, it is still up to us to make the choice if we are going to do something about it or not.

We may meet our soul mate by chance, but loving and staying with our soul mate is still a choice we have to make.

Our challenge in this world is not finding someone perfect to love,  but rather to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly!

…have Hope, have Faith, and most importantly – have the greatest of all – have Love.

To read more recipes for living – please click here to purchase From My Mama’s Kitchen-“food for the soul, recipes for living” book, and help us to make a positive difference in our preferred charities.

A New Year, A New Me, and Perhaps A New You!

Johnny Tan — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 01:19:18 +0000

A New Year to start off a New Decade… very exciting! Although I am looking forward to all the possible opportunities it has to offer, I believe in order for me to truly prepare myself for it, I need to reflect back on last year, and recap all the pluses and minuses, and all the hits and misses in all areas of my life.

My Malaysian mom Nyah, always told me that the day we stop learning is the day we give up on living. This recipe for living is one I always remember on my birthday because it has been a natural occurrence for me to go through a process of rebirth every year, filled with a renewed right spirit, ideas, and enthusiasm.

Every year since ninth grade, on the eve of my birthday, I spend some quiet time in personal reflection on how I have lived my life for the last 12 months. From a simple review of the year’s various hits and misses, to contemplating life-changing experiences, I eventually learned to identify potential opportunities on not only how to live my life, but how to live my life with passion in the upcoming year, by adjusting my thought process and my behavior tendencies.

I also use this same process at the beginning of each year to evaluate past accomplishments before planning for the current year. My Texan Earthly mom Terese, told me a while back about being lucky and being wise. She said, “Luck is the intersection of faith and destiny. The stronger our faith is, the luckier we are. The positive energy we radiate into the universe will always attract like positive energy back to us.”

According to my Progressive and Spiritual mom Elsa Mae, what we give out is what we receive in return. As we are the author of our thoughts, and if we are to receive and be showered with good things and favors in life, we need to be having those positive thoughts throughout our daily lives.

My Italian foster mom Carol, added, “Wisdom, on the other hand, is what we experience when we combine knowledge, understanding, and compassion.”

Over the years whether it is pure chance or divine guidance, I am grateful I have experienced significant increases in both luck and wisdom in all areas of my life by keeping my mind focused on having faith and meditating on enlightenment.

As for 2009, I am thankful to have more pluses than minuses, and more hits than misses. I have certainly learned a great deal from all the minuses and misses while at the same time enjoyed all the pluses and hits.

In a nutshell: Regardless what transpired in the past, there are always lessons to be learned. If we are to ensure ourselves a successful 2010, we need to lead from within, that is – “Respect the past because it will always be a classroom for lessons learned. Be prepared for the future because it is our destiny, and Always live in the now because every moment is a memorable experience.”

The art of being a good listener

Johnny Tan — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 19:29:15 +0000

A friend once asked me to explain the difference between hearing and listening. I told her the difference is that when we listen to someone we are engaging ourselves to truly learn what he or she is trying to relate to us, rather than just hearing words coming out of someone’s mouth and hearing what we want to hear instead.

In today’s world of multitasking, we are all guilty of doing too many things at the same time just because we can, or perhaps just because we are multitalented. In order to truly build a good and everlasting habit of being a good listener, which adds value into any communication, we will need to practice something my Progressive and Spiritual mom Elsa Mae, used to tell me a long time ago. “When we listen to someone, listen to learn, and do not listen in anticipation to reply.”

In other words, when we listen to learn, we are listening and learning about what we can do to meet their needs, whereas when we are just hearing, we are simply waiting for the opportunity to pawn off our needs on them. We are caught up in the, if I were you, I would do … syndrome.

Guess what, we will always be who we are, and they will always be who they are. Each of us is different from the perspective of our own individualism—our very own upper and lower limits. Each of us is governed by our own strengths and weaknesses, and by our comfort zone.

We all operate at our best when we are in our comfort zone, so it is important to study that person’s needs before we can truly give our best input. In order for us to do this, we must make sure we give them our undivided attention. We need to be respectful, and be considerate of the person’s style of conveying his or her message to us.

Our actions and demeanor speak volumes to this. Someone can easily tell if we are just trying to pacify them, or if we are genuinely trying to help by effectively listening to them. A good rule of thumb to follow is—are we being selfish, or are we adding value to our communication? If we intend to add value, then we will give our input with love and tactfulness because we are saying things to benefit them and not us.

In a Nutshell—The art of being a good listener is nothing more than being genuine, sincere, and giving undivided attention to the person who is talking to us.

Having Humor in Everything We Do!

Johnny Tan — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 19:19:07 +0000

During this upcoming holiday season some of us will be meeting new people for the first time and some of us will not necessary be looking forward to meeting the people whom we already knew, but am glad that we will only be in their company once a year.

Regardless whatever situation you are in, have you ever considered that someone’s brilliant one-liner may tickle you more than your funny bone, because it may ignite a tiny spark in your heart? If this is true about you, then you are one of the few people who can truly appreciate and realize that having fun and being funny can lead you to living a very healthy and romantic life.

My mom Cajun mom Ginger, believes that humor is essential in our daily lives because it brings balance and a sense of humility to us when we come face-to-face with challenging situations or demanding people. She says, “With humor we can always look and find the lighter side of things to be positive, regardless of whatever we encounter.”

The choices we make, whether to be serious or to have a touch of humor in anything we do, speak loudly to others about our personality and who we are. How we are perceived by others is how we would be rated by them verbally or nonverbally as to our credibility, trustworthiness, and sense of responsibility.

Although the accuracy of this kind of assessment done by others on us can be questionable; however, if we think about it, we do the same thing. Perhaps not as elaborate or thorough as others might see us, but at the very least we do have an impression of others as to how they view life.

Overcoming Fear

Johnny Tan — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:25:06 +0000

Holiday seasons is a time for celebration and joy, however, it can also be fairly challenging when we are confronted with memories of yesteryear when we reminisced events, situation, and people in our past.

Sometimes things may not work out as planned because the timing is off. If we have given our best, then we have to release it to the universe to be sorted out.

According to my Malaysian mom Nyah, “Life and situations have a way of working themselves out eventually through a universal order. If we believe in faith and live our lives with full expectancy, then we can trust that all things will work out for our greatest good.”

Over the years I know this to be true, because whenever I did just that I was rewarded greatly for not fearing the fear of letting go and not being in control.

A friend once told me that she has the ability to talk herself out of just about anything due to her tremendous amount of control over her mind. This is good; however, if not used or exercised correctly it can bring about the opposite effect of what this gift is intended for.

If we use it to run away from our fears then we are not utilizing it for the right reason, because we are actually giving into our weaknesses. My mom Nyah, said it best. “As easily as we can talk ourselves out of something, we can talk ourselves in to something.”

It is the essence of the power of positive thinking; talking ourselves into confronting and overcoming our fears that strengthen our overall being, which in turn moves us to the next level of personal excellence.

My late Southern Belle mom Eleanora, believed that perseverance and patience would always lead us to overcoming personal self-inflicted anxiety. According to her, you should never be afraid to change your mind. It actually shows maturity, intelligence, and character to admit mistakes rather than to stand firm on an ill-informed decision.

Whenever I had doubts about certain issues I was dealing with that required a leap of faith I always reminded myself of what my late Ballroom Instructor mom Betty, said to me over the years, quoting from her favorite movie line from the movie Strictly Ballroom, “A life lived in fear is a life half lived.”

She said that when we learn to empower ourselves to change the way we look at things, we are actually learning to know our inner self. When we realize that the power in us is greater than the one outside, then we are ready to change our situation. When positive changes come from the inside out, we have then attained the right positive vision.

In a Nutshell—The key to overcoming fear is to have the right positive vision that has been within us all along.

Being present in the present moment

Johnny Tan — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 19:12:55 +0000

Sometimes in our busy lives we tend to forget to focus on the present moment. Our minds tend to drift ahead of us, thinking far off into the future with the, what ifs. At other times we are caught up with reminiscing events of the past. If it is a good reflection then we always wish we could replay it over again and again, but if it is a bad memory—we tend to be weighed down with disappointments.

If we are not careful we may miss the opportunity of enjoying today. To ensure that this does not happen we need to be present in the present moment. We cannot change what happened yesterday, and we can only dream about tomorrow. However, we can certainly affect today by being conscious of our present thoughts.

I am always reminded of what my Texan Earthly mom Terese, told me. “Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow may never come. One thing for sure is that we have today, and what we do with it will determine how we will be remembered tomorrow.”

“Home for the Holidays” – A Celebration of the Heart with a Gift from the Soul!

Johnny Tan — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:50:35 +0000

Some of us already realize this, and others will experience it for the first time: The kitchen will be the most important room in the house in the coming weeks.

Regardless of whether it is a modern-day designer’s kitchen or just one of the so-called “timeless” efficiency kitchens, it is time for it to claim center stage, as it will serve as the hub for the transformational loving energy that will bind families and friends alike during this holiday season.

Known as the heart and soul of any home, the kitchen is the place that will serve as a wonderful backdrop where you will always find an abundance of joy and laughter from family and friends reminiscing and sharing meaningful communication, from knowledge gained to lessons learned.

As you already know, you do not have to know how to cook to be drawn into the kitchen as your five senses will eventually draw you straight toward it once the mouth-watering aromas start to fill the air.

My late Southern Belle mom, Eleanora, once eloquently described to me that being in the kitchen is like being a mother; it is about creating something special. It requires patience, a happy attitude, and a touch of love. It is the perfect blending of all these ingredients that ultimately produces a signature dish.

Since we now live in a global village, with the lifestyle to match, where families can only get together during special occasions, the holiday seasons have become more meaningful than ever. Although there are many of us who are fortunate to have a family to spend the holidays with, there are those of us who are less fortunate due to various reasons. We are the ones that, over the years, are able to find home from within our own hearts. Then, there are those among us who are fortunate to have the opportunity to experience the family holiday spirit thanks to the generosity of our friends.

Whatever the situation may be for you, if we can all take a moment to be mindful, perhaps we can truly experience the true holiday spirit as it is meant to be experienced.

For mothers — They cannot wait to have the family back home together to break bread with.

For children — Believe it or not, your mom will always be more excited to see you than you are to see her.

For singles — For those who are fortunate to have the generosity of a friend’s invitation to be with their family, be very thankful for the love you are receiving.

For those who will be by themselves — Always remember that you are never alone. Home is where the heart is, and be very thankful that you have made it this far. Happiness and glee are always generated and experienced from within.

For the families who will be celebrating this holiday season together with their loved ones — I would like to share with you what my Cajun mom, Ginger, told me a long time ago: “The natural life can always be funny and humorous. The most ordinary events usually end up being the sweetest memories. Being present during the small moments will always make us appreciate the happiness when it happens.”

For the families and individuals who have graciously opened their hearts and homes, and to those who are contemplating doing so — I would like to share with you what my German mom, Dianne, told me a few years back: “Every once in a while, a situation may occur that requires us to radiate our energy of positive goodwill, compassion, and love for others. Until we try to put ourselves beyond our comfort zone, we will not realize we have what it takes to make a difference in that person’s life and in ours.”

For those of us who will be spending this holiday season by ourselves — I would like to share with you what my Malaysian mom, Nyah, told me just before I left home to come to the United States: “Since childhood, you have been and will continue to be exposed to all kinds of experiences. Some experiences, good or bad, will stay with you for the rest of your life. However, it is how you manage them that will ultimately determine your idea of success and happiness, or failure and sadness, in your life. Always remember you are never alone, and although food may fill your tummy and the camaraderie of friends gives you a sense of belonging, it is the loving energy you generate from within you that will nourish your mind, body, and soul. This spiritual grounding is what will ultimately touch the heart and move the soul of others.”

Finally, here is my wish to everyone during this holiday season:

Health — makes all things possible.

Wealth — makes all things work.

Love — makes all things beautiful.

May you have all three.

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