Dec
22
2009
The art of being a good listener
Author: Johnny TanA friend once asked me to explain the difference between hearing and listening. I told her the difference is that when we listen to someone we are engaging ourselves to truly learn what he or she is trying to relate to us, rather than just hearing words coming out of someone’s mouth and hearing what we want to hear instead.
In today’s world of multitasking, we are all guilty of doing too many things at the same time just because we can, or perhaps just because we are multitalented. In order to truly build a good and everlasting habit of being a good listener, which adds value into any communication, we will need to practice something my Progressive and Spiritual mom Elsa Mae, used to tell me a long time ago. “When we listen to someone, listen to learn, and do not listen in anticipation to reply.”
In other words, when we listen to learn, we are listening and learning about what we can do to meet their needs, whereas when we are just hearing, we are simply waiting for the opportunity to pawn off our needs on them. We are caught up in the, if I were you, I would do … syndrome.
Guess what, we will always be who we are, and they will always be who they are. Each of us is different from the perspective of our own individualism—our very own upper and lower limits. Each of us is governed by our own strengths and weaknesses, and by our comfort zone.
We all operate at our best when we are in our comfort zone, so it is important to study that person’s needs before we can truly give our best input. In order for us to do this, we must make sure we give them our undivided attention. We need to be respectful, and be considerate of the person’s style of conveying his or her message to us.
Our actions and demeanor speak volumes to this. Someone can easily tell if we are just trying to pacify them, or if we are genuinely trying to help by effectively listening to them. A good rule of thumb to follow is—are we being selfish, or are we adding value to our communication? If we intend to add value, then we will give our input with love and tactfulness because we are saying things to benefit them and not us.
In a Nutshell—The art of being a good listener is nothing more than being genuine, sincere, and giving undivided attention to the person who is talking to us.
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Tags: 9 incredible moms, author and talk show host Johnny Tan, Blog Talk Radio, FMMK Talk Radio Show, Food For The Soul, From My Mama's Kitchen, Global Center Stage, listen to learn, Motherly Love, Motivational Stories, multitalented, multitasking, personal comfort zone, Preferred Charities, Progressive and Spiritual mom Elsa Mae, Recipes For Living, Resource Center for Mothers, The Art of being a good listener, Upper and Lower Limits
